Disaster DIY
I get asked the question ‘what is something that few people know about you’ often in interviews. I never quite know what to say- should it be funny, serious, embarrassing? Sometimes I mention my massive size 12 feet (which does not seem to get any sort of unusual reaction); other times I mention my misspent youth of head-banging which typically leaves people incredulous.
Today, while riding the rollers in my living room, instead of looking at the snow outside, I turned myself around and spent the hour practicing the art of distraction in the form of television. Here’s the first thing people don’t know about me: I love HGTV. You know, Home and Garden Television? I can spend hours watching the home improvement/home design/ real estate shows that my husband Peter thinks are ridiculous.
While on the rollers, I watched ‘Disaster DIY’, a show that the host, Brian, is called in to take control of an out of control home reno. Today’s episode was focussed on a woman who had unleashed some random, spontaneous demo/renos on the house. Her husband called in Brian after she sawed through the kitchen wall, accidentally cutting through a water pipe and almost causing an electrical fire.
Put some power tools in the hands of this middle-aged woman, and she turned into a female incarnation of Rambo. Over and over again she proclaimed how fun it was to destroy a wall or a room. And, she had little to no skills. Her eyes would light up at the sight of the nail gun, drill and saw. All along, they stood in front of a gaping hole in the kitchen wall that she made with the idea “to let some light in”.
I kept thinking: this woman is me! I also thought of poor Peter, who is often there to try and undo the damage I have done to our two homes on the opposite sides of the country. Like the time a year and a half ago when, while Peter was away on a kayak trip, I thought it would be a great idea and quick job to pull out all of the carpet in our condo and install laminate floor. A friend convinced me ‘it was easy’ and that it would only take a week. I always wanted to laminate and thought I would surprise Peter.
Well, after three weeks, bearing in mind I was training full time, twice a day, I had half of the floor installed. Or maybe it was a quarter of the flooring installed….and the job? Well, it was a disaster. Nothing fit together and the pieces that did were all chipped and warped. How could it be so hard? And there was the time back in Quebec that I thought a more open concept would work in our living room…and ripped out the stair railing. Needless to say, it was a little sketchy going down the stairs with no rail! Since then, I put back the original railing, but it is far from being sturdy. In fact, it needs to be replaced by a professional! And then there are the multiple coats of paint in our house back east…none of which ever received a final coat to make the job complete. From the original white there was green, grey, terracotta, cream….and now I think I prefer just a nice, soft white!
Anyway, when I saw this episode of Disaster DIY, I thought that Peter could call me in on that show. I would be the perfect candidate: a lot of initial motivation, a lack of ability to think through a project, little skill, no patience and the ability to live in a state of unfinished ‘home improvement’ projects for years!
So, there’s a little something few people know about me. I am a master of destruction and a disaster DIY-er!!
